Why Don't You Use Dating Apps?

March 16, 2026

The Kiss by Gustav Klimt, c. 1907–1908 — Gustav Klimt, *The Kiss*, c. 1907–1908.

Well, several reasons. The coolest one is simple. I am a romantic. Dating apps kill the romance!

Just imagine the conversation at the golden wedding anniversary with people asking how that lovely grey-haired couple met.

How did you guys meet? School?
No.
Mutual friends?
No.
Work?
No.
Neighbors?
No.
Gym? Night club? Bar? Dance class? Painting class? Party?
No.
Randomly on the street? Bus? Subway?
No. We met through a digital platform that behaves like digital cocaine playing dopamine triggers while humans try to ~~mate~~ find romantic partners.

Venus and Mars by Sandro Botticelli, c. 1483 — Sandro Botticelli, *Venus and Mars*, c. 1483.

It sucks. I know, I agree, the golden wedding anniversary is the main goal. How far and how well it goes is way more important than how it starts. Yeah, sure. But once upon a time still matters. And I am a terrible liar. So, better start humanly beautiful, not algorithmically beautiful, since t₀.